Grad school...or nah?

I’ve been asked more than a few times if I thought grad school was worth it.  More recently, I had a friend ask me if I felt like the experience and what I learned has been beneficial to me now, so I decided to share my thoughts on the subject.

The conversation about grad school has changed, along with the economy.  Even while a bachelor’s degree is becoming the new high school diploma, the decision to attend graduate school should not be taken lightly.

I was fortunate enough to be hired at Northern Arizona University for my first job out of college and with that came tuition benefits.  I was able to complete my master’s degree in a little over a year (not recommended if you appreciate your sanity) and I was able to pay for it out of pocket.  Tuition for employees was a mere $25 per semester, plus fees, so on average, I paid about $100 per semester for classes.

I think back on my experience and realize that it was not typical.  During two semesters of  my semesters of school, I was a full-time employee, as well as a full-time student (taking nine credits), in addition to advising a student organization.  I was able to complete my degree in a fairly quickly because of the availability of online and in-person classes.  A majority of my classes were completed online, but professors still worked to make them interactive through platforms such as BlackBoard.

I also didn’t have the cohort experience, meaning I basically completed my program alone.  I saw a few familiar faces in classes, but I think it would have been helpful to have a set of classmates to share the experience with. However, because price was the driving factor for me, I am content with not having this part of the graduate student experience.

The two jobs I’ve had since completing my master’s degree have not required a graduate degree, but in many ways, I think it is was helpful in establishing credibility when recruiting law students and among my colleagues in the field of higher education. 

I encourage anyone contemplating graduate school to think about how the degree will impact them personally.  Depending on the field, attending graduate school directly after undergrad might be necessary or be the difference between going or losing the motivation to do so.  For the most part, I recommend work experience first or at least during graduate school.  I benefited from having real life examples to draw from for class assignments. 

The biggest issue with graduate (and professional school) is how to finance it.  Nothing about it is cheap! As I mentioned before, I was blessed with tuition benefits.  I know other people who have earned assistantships that covered the cost of tuition and provided stipends.  I know others that have tuition assistance through their employers and are allowed to spend a maximum amount towards tuition each year.  Most of the time it balances out to a class or two per semester, depending on the cost of tuition, but anything helps!

As always, do what works for you, but be sure to do your research.  Weigh all of your options and decide what you want and need out of a graduate school.  If you are planning to attend graduate school to recapture the your college experience, that is all the reason why you shouldn’t go.  It is not the same on so many levels – trust me!  If you’re really interested in furthering your education, but aren’t ready to make the commitment, consider taking graduate courses as a non-degree seeking student or check into community education courses at your local institution. 

I've Always Wondered About...The Cosby Show Edition

I have to say, I think the Cosby Show is one of the greatest TV shows ever created.  In my no cable days, I've watched the show enough and in my head, the Huxtables are real.

There are a few burning questions that I have about the show.   Clearly, they will never be answered, but here it goes (in no particular order):


Did Kenny's brothers name ever get mentioned? Or was he just Kenny's brother?

Along those lines, anyone else have a visual of what he looks like?

In the first few episodes, Theo is referred to as Teddy. Ever wonder why that got switched up?

Cockroach just kind of up and disappeared. Anybody know what happened?

How come the Huxtables didn't help Vanessa move into her room at Lincoln University? I feel bad that she got sent off with some suitcases and a farewell from Brooklyn.  (I'd venture a guess to say this sticks out because of my experience moving into Drake and helping other students and families do the same).

Why didn't we get to see Sondra and Elvin's wedding? 

Additionally, why did we never see them at Princeton?

Was Denise's absence in season 8 due to some real life issues? She just kind of up and left Olivia with her parents.

If you have any others, feel free to sound off in the comments section.

Why my age doesn't matter in the workplace

Last week, I was working a recruitment event for Girl Scouts. I had to share a table with another organization and about an hour into the event, the woman asks, "How old are you?" I was quiet for a few seconds and then she says, "You're young, right?"

"I'm young," I agreed.

This is not the first time I've been questioned about my age. Since starting my first professional job at Northern Arizona University, I've been questioned about my age, often mistaken for an undergraduate student, a law student and a Girl Scout leader, even after disclosing my title and role. I get it.  Those roles are not too far off, but being mistaken for a high school student recently was an interesting feeling to say the least.

I have complained about this and the consensus is that I should accept the fact that I look young and keep it moving. “Take it in stride,” they say.  “You’ll appreciate it later” is another common saying.  I understand and I accept it, but have this much to offer. 

My supervisors and other colleagues are never asked their age and it is safe to say that they “look” their age and appear to deserve the jobs and titles they have.  Since I look young, it makes sense that people want to ensure my authority, whereas those who appear older automatically are afforded that privilege.

I say all of that to say that I’ve decided to no longer disclose my age and it’s not because I’m ashamed.  I’m proud of my age and where I am in life, but honestly, I’m qualified to do what I do.  Therefore, my age, whatever it is, does not matter. 

See You Later, Drake

A Bulldog and a future Bulldog (Class of 2033)

I’ve been at this place before.  I’ve said goodbye to Drake, knowing that this campus will always have a special place in my heart.  This time is different though.  When I graduated, I pretty much had to leave and this time, the choice was a little different.  There are no hard feelings here; just a realization that it is time to move on to the next chapter in my journey called life.

I like to think that my Drake experience is unique.  I’m sure my mother had no idea that her daughter would walk the same campus she did nearly 25 years after her, let alone end up working for her alma mater.   I would often get asked if my mother forced me to come to Drake and the answer is no.  She always referenced her time at Drake as the best four years of her life and as it turns out, I had some pretty amazing experiences as a student myself. 

During my time as an undergraduate, I came into my own.  I ultimately decided that I wanted to attend Drake because no one else from my high school class would be there.  I wanted to start fresh and that is just what I did.  Within the first week of classes, I met Barack Obama and truthfully, I didn’t even know who he was.  Looking back, that moment was priceless.  By the time my first year of college ended, I met him again and I also had the chance to meet Michelle Obama.  The pictures I was able to take with them will be cherished forever.  There are countless other moments, memories and experiences that would take forever to recount, but have shaped me into the person I am today.

My time at Drake, as both a student and an employee, is shaped by my academic experience, of course, but also by the relationships that I was able to create and maintain.  When meeting prospective students, I often share with them the fact that I could call President Maxwell and he knows exactly who I am.  He even shared running tips with me during an alumni event in Phoenix back in 2011.  I think the transition back to Drake in 2012 was so effortless because of the relationships I made as an undergraduate. Coming back felt like I never left.

I will be physically absent from Drake on a daily basis, but that is just fine.  The memories, the people and these two degrees are with me forever.   

How you can love and hate social media...at the same damn time!

It's hard to believe that I'm almost ten years out of high school.  (Well, barely eight, but still...)

I started talking to some of my classmates and decided that we should start now with the planning of our reunion in 2016.  As I went through my phone contact list, I realized that I could contact maybe 10 (at most) of my classmates without using Facebook.  I still had to open my yearbook to remember names (don't judge me!)

Anywho, the point of that story is, without Facebook, I wouldn't know how to reach former classmates to ask for their assistance in planning our reunion.  For that reason, I can vibe with Facebook.  There are other reasons why I see the benefit of Facebook and other social media platforms.  

I learn many new things from those I follow on Twitter, especially the various media outlets.  Tweeters (is that what we are called?) get the news as it unfolds, instead of waiting for the 5 o' clock news.  It is also a place where discussion can be healthy and lively.  Two people can agree to disagree, all within 140 characters.  Instragram has its perks as well, including the fact that a person no longer needs words to tell their story.  I also appreciated social media during my trip to South Africa in 2012 when I had the opportunity to share my journey with my family and friends.  Twitter came in handy once when I was tweeting about my dissatisfaction with a Delta flight.  Someone responded and I actually got a $50 flight voucher (not bad at all!) Finally, one of the best parts of Twitter is the pure comedy that ensues when an awards show comes on.

But then there is not so pretty side of social media.  I find that it is easy to judge others when they spell things incorrectly, use the wrong verb tense, or just simply share what I perceive to be very personal information. (I am guilty of all of these judgements).  We all know that one person who can't figure out the difference between your and you're (#petpeeve).  We all know that one person who finds something wrong with everything in life.  I can't forget that passive aggressive person who is talking to another individual who probably doesn't even read their status updates or tweets.  

While I haven't experienced cyberbullying personally, I do understand how real this.  An opinion piece published in today's Kansas City Star talked about how social media is killing Daisy Coleman, a high school student in Maryville, MO and alleged sexual assault victim. Daisy is currently recovering from a suicide attempt after swallowing pills.  

Apparently, she got more backlash (do a Goggle search for the entire story) on Facebook after attending a party over the weekend and ended up in the hospital days later.  Whatever happened or didn't happen in regards to this case is for the courts to decide.  Either way, other people do not have the right to these platforms to harass another human being.

To bring it back home...

I find that I have to step away from social media every now and then just to get away from other people's lives.  Of course, there is the entertainment value and glimpse into what old friends and acquaintances are up to, but I always wonder if we get people's true self via Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the countless other networks. 

Think about it like this: your social media presence is your chance to build your brand.  You are your own PR rep.  Why wouldn't you want to show off your best side? Your vacation trips?  The flowers your man got you?  The new shoes you bought.? Your straight A's?

While that is all well and good, it's not totally representative of your life.  We experience ups and downs that maybe shouldn't be blasted over the internet.  There is a very fine line of showing that you have it all together and remembering that there are real emotions behind every status update and tweet.

I do sometimes wonder what life would be like if social media didn't exist.  Maybe there would be a little less judgment, a few more phone calls instead a timeline posts, and for the sake of Daisy and other teenagers like her, even less cyberbullying. 

Mentorship Matters

I had a moment today.  

I went to visit my Little Sister today and as I was preparing to leave and let her know that I would see her next week, she gives me a hug.  I left her school, feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

It might not sound like much, but it made me realize that I matter to her.  Every week, she looks forward to our visits and her constant question each week is, “How much time do we have left?” If I miss a day or even have to switch from a Wednesday to a different day, she wants to know why.

Growing up, I had a Big Sister for a while and I would start to look forward to seeing her as well.  The difference in being a Little Sister and having a Little Sister is that my Big Sister would pick me up from home and I visit my Little at her school each week.  (Big Brothers Big Sisters offers different ways of involvement to fit each volunteers lifestyle, school-based and community-based).  I didn’t realize the importance of this relationship and others like it until I got older.  Why would someone just volunteer their time (and money in some instances) to spend time with me? Maybe my Little Sister wonders the same thing at times, but it all makes sense now.

This concept of “the village” is real.  Different people come around to play different roles in the lives of children.  My Little Sister is one of six children, so the hour we spend together each week is an hour where it is all about her and I believe that it is important.  The popular conversation about misguided youth continues, but we, the village and community, have to look at ourselves at some point and ask, “What are we doing to help?”

As much as I try, I know that individually I can’t change the world, but I can work within my scope to be that mentor, volunteer and positive influence on a young child who simply needs a reminder that someone cares. 

For those of you who are already mentors and volunteers, remember that you matter.  My challenge to others who have not yet accepted the role, don’t be afraid. Perfection is not required for this role.  All you need is a willing heart and your time.      

Let’s Celebrate Fathers on Father’s Day

Honestly, I’ve never really celebrated Father’s Day.  My brother and I were raised by our wonderful single mother and the story goes just as you might think; my father was not around to help raise us.  There were male influences in my life such as my uncle, who although doesn’t have any children of his own, has always been around as an additional support system.

Although the day has come and gone this year, I noticed this year how the holiday has turned into a second celebration of sorts for single mothers.   One of the biggest reasons I noticed that provided justification for this: “My mother has played the role of both mother and father in my life.”

Frankly, that is (nearly) impossible. 

I read an article on Bossip (click the link for the article and don’t judge me in the process) about Hallmark Cards and its promotion of this concept.  Apparently, the company has produced a card that people can purchase for their mother on Father’s Day.  My issue is that the card is produced under the Mahogany line, which is targeted toward the Black community.  It sounds like a promotion of stereotypes within our community, the one that says single parenthood is the norm.

As great as my mother was and will always be, there is no way she can fill the void my father left.  She truly did the best she could with the circumstances given.  However, there are some memories I’ve seen other female friends experience that I will never know anything about such as my father being present on prom night or the feeling of being Daddy’s little girl.  I watch my brother with my niece and smile on the inside, mostly because I can tell she loves her dad and also because I know that she will get to feel what I've missed out on.

Maybe this celebration of single mothers on Father’s Day is a matter of us breaking with tradition, but in my opinion, there is no need to in this case.  We do more acknowledgement of absent fathers than we do of fathers who play their roles well.  I don’t believe in giving people accolades for things they are supposed to do, but we must learn to celebrate the positive instead of harboring on the negative.  I also recognize that there are many men, including those close to me, who are tackiling this fatherhood thing without proper modeling and doing a very good job at it. 

I do think this should further the discussion about the need for fathers to take their rightful place in their children’s lives.  Even if the romantic relationship doesn’t work out between the mother and father, that is no excuse for absence on the part of either parent. (As hard as the concept may be to grasp, there are some absent mothers as well).  

And with that being said, don’t wait until designated holidays to show appreciation for your parents. Any day is a good day to do so.  I only ask that when it is time to let people shine, whether it be Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or their birthday, please let them have their moment.  A final thought: check out "From Fatherless to Fatherhood," a documentary which explores the importance of fatherhood.