On the road to #foreverett: Getting Started

December 19th will always be a special day, as my now fiance earned his degree and we also got engaged!  I wasn’t ready for the moment that it actually happened (as I don't think you should be!) and all I could do then was cry.  It took me a while to realize that it actually happened and smiles commenced from then on! :-)

My fiancé and I have been dating for about six years now and our family and friends have been waiting on the moment when we announced our engagement.  (We already know the subsequent questions regarding an actual date and children). However, anybody who has been married before or even considering it knows what a very personal decision it is, not to be made on external timelines. To conclude that thought, we know that everyone is happy for us and is looking to celebrate our union.

As of today, we’ve only been engaged for less than three weeks and I’ve already had to be talked off the ledge.  Planning a wedding can easily become a part-time job.  There are so many things to consider.  First, there is the budget.  Then of course, when, where, how many guests, the wedding party, colors, the dress and the list goes on.

Of course, I am looking forward to the big day and for the opportunity to spend the rest of my life with my handsome, supportive and loving teammate and partner!  In the meantime, I am hoping to document the journey on the road to #foreverett (t's 2016; there is a hashtag!).  Enjoy the ride!

Adulthood: The Gift and the Curse

Being an adult is equivalent to getting slapped in the face at times.  It has the potential to be quite brutal. 

But let me rewind and give a disclaimer.  I do not want to appear as though I’m complaining. This is just a real conversation that I’ve with myself and others around me.

The reality of adulthood is that of course, there is no one telling you what you should do, how to do it and when to do it.  As a child, particularly in those teenage years, nobody wants to hear that! Adulthood slapped me in the face when I had to start buying my own groceries.  Do you know how much a gallon of milk costs?!  Grocery shopping used to be fun.  You know, when your parents were paying and swiping their debit cards.  I’ve always been one that paid attention to how much things cost, but my mom was still the one footing the bill.  Ever started putting things back once you see the bill getting higher and higher? Did you start reconsidering certain brands and thought Great Value would work just fine? If so, you got slapped by adulthood.

I always get anxious when I take my car in for an oil change.  Every single time.  I’m always waiting for the salesperson to hit me with the “you need $500 worth of repairs to your car.”  Well, it happened just last week.  I’m just trying to be an upstanding citizen, get my car inspected so that I can renew my tags and then, it got real.  I couldn’t pass the inspection until I had nearly $500 worth of work done to fix the wheel bearing and sway bars (whatever those are).  I had to make a major life decision (*cue dramatics*) in a short period of time.  I ended up getting one thing fixed, but obviously, I still have to go back and get the rest taken care of.  I get it.  It comes with the territory of having a car, but still…

I don’t recall being that teenager claiming to be grown right at the age of 18.  I claimed independence, but knew I still needed my mom. (Fact: I called her every day during my first few weeks of college).  Even as I share this and laugh about the reality of adulthood, I’m grateful.  Once it hits, it is truly a matter of staying on top of things, facing responsibilities head on and handling business.   

Can we agree that daycare life seems to be the best?  Who doesn’t love afternoon naps and snacks? 

About the whole Valentine's Day thing...

February 14^th.  

A day to celebrate love.  A day to get romantic.  A day for some single people to be salty. 

For some, this holiday is at the top of the list of their favorite days of the year.  For others, it is somewhat dreadful and a reminder of what they feel they do not have when it comes to a romantic relationship.  While I am an advocate for love, I’m not of the opinion that a whole lot of money needs to be spent in order to prove how much you love your partner.  Love is a beautiful thing and I’m happy to be loved and in love.  On the other hand, I’m just starting to think that so many expectations are built up around this holiday and many people are frankly out here getting their feelings hurt. 

With the prevalence of social media these days, I am beginning to approach the day with a little more skepticism than normal.  Do people want the flowers, cards, candy, balloons, dinners and rose petals because they are things they truly appreciate from their partner?  Or are we in an imaginary contest with our friends and followers, attempting to portray the image of love?  If the first thought of Valentine’s Day is which Instagram filter your flowers will look best in, there might be other things to personally evaluate.

Simply put, love and appreciation should be a constant, not stored up for this one day out of the year.  Most importantly, with any holiday or special occasion, you and yours have to determine what is best for your situation.  I'll be doing just that, spending time with my handsome Valentine! :-)

Grad school...or nah?

I’ve been asked more than a few times if I thought grad school was worth it.  More recently, I had a friend ask me if I felt like the experience and what I learned has been beneficial to me now, so I decided to share my thoughts on the subject.

The conversation about grad school has changed, along with the economy.  Even while a bachelor’s degree is becoming the new high school diploma, the decision to attend graduate school should not be taken lightly.

I was fortunate enough to be hired at Northern Arizona University for my first job out of college and with that came tuition benefits.  I was able to complete my master’s degree in a little over a year (not recommended if you appreciate your sanity) and I was able to pay for it out of pocket.  Tuition for employees was a mere $25 per semester, plus fees, so on average, I paid about $100 per semester for classes.

I think back on my experience and realize that it was not typical.  During two semesters of  my semesters of school, I was a full-time employee, as well as a full-time student (taking nine credits), in addition to advising a student organization.  I was able to complete my degree in a fairly quickly because of the availability of online and in-person classes.  A majority of my classes were completed online, but professors still worked to make them interactive through platforms such as BlackBoard.

I also didn’t have the cohort experience, meaning I basically completed my program alone.  I saw a few familiar faces in classes, but I think it would have been helpful to have a set of classmates to share the experience with. However, because price was the driving factor for me, I am content with not having this part of the graduate student experience.

The two jobs I’ve had since completing my master’s degree have not required a graduate degree, but in many ways, I think it is was helpful in establishing credibility when recruiting law students and among my colleagues in the field of higher education. 

I encourage anyone contemplating graduate school to think about how the degree will impact them personally.  Depending on the field, attending graduate school directly after undergrad might be necessary or be the difference between going or losing the motivation to do so.  For the most part, I recommend work experience first or at least during graduate school.  I benefited from having real life examples to draw from for class assignments. 

The biggest issue with graduate (and professional school) is how to finance it.  Nothing about it is cheap! As I mentioned before, I was blessed with tuition benefits.  I know other people who have earned assistantships that covered the cost of tuition and provided stipends.  I know others that have tuition assistance through their employers and are allowed to spend a maximum amount towards tuition each year.  Most of the time it balances out to a class or two per semester, depending on the cost of tuition, but anything helps!

As always, do what works for you, but be sure to do your research.  Weigh all of your options and decide what you want and need out of a graduate school.  If you are planning to attend graduate school to recapture the your college experience, that is all the reason why you shouldn’t go.  It is not the same on so many levels – trust me!  If you’re really interested in furthering your education, but aren’t ready to make the commitment, consider taking graduate courses as a non-degree seeking student or check into community education courses at your local institution. 

I've Always Wondered About...The Cosby Show Edition

I have to say, I think the Cosby Show is one of the greatest TV shows ever created.  In my no cable days, I've watched the show enough and in my head, the Huxtables are real.

There are a few burning questions that I have about the show.   Clearly, they will never be answered, but here it goes (in no particular order):


Did Kenny's brothers name ever get mentioned? Or was he just Kenny's brother?

Along those lines, anyone else have a visual of what he looks like?

In the first few episodes, Theo is referred to as Teddy. Ever wonder why that got switched up?

Cockroach just kind of up and disappeared. Anybody know what happened?

How come the Huxtables didn't help Vanessa move into her room at Lincoln University? I feel bad that she got sent off with some suitcases and a farewell from Brooklyn.  (I'd venture a guess to say this sticks out because of my experience moving into Drake and helping other students and families do the same).

Why didn't we get to see Sondra and Elvin's wedding? 

Additionally, why did we never see them at Princeton?

Was Denise's absence in season 8 due to some real life issues? She just kind of up and left Olivia with her parents.

If you have any others, feel free to sound off in the comments section.

Why my age doesn't matter in the workplace

Last week, I was working a recruitment event for Girl Scouts. I had to share a table with another organization and about an hour into the event, the woman asks, "How old are you?" I was quiet for a few seconds and then she says, "You're young, right?"

"I'm young," I agreed.

This is not the first time I've been questioned about my age. Since starting my first professional job at Northern Arizona University, I've been questioned about my age, often mistaken for an undergraduate student, a law student and a Girl Scout leader, even after disclosing my title and role. I get it.  Those roles are not too far off, but being mistaken for a high school student recently was an interesting feeling to say the least.

I have complained about this and the consensus is that I should accept the fact that I look young and keep it moving. “Take it in stride,” they say.  “You’ll appreciate it later” is another common saying.  I understand and I accept it, but have this much to offer. 

My supervisors and other colleagues are never asked their age and it is safe to say that they “look” their age and appear to deserve the jobs and titles they have.  Since I look young, it makes sense that people want to ensure my authority, whereas those who appear older automatically are afforded that privilege.

I say all of that to say that I’ve decided to no longer disclose my age and it’s not because I’m ashamed.  I’m proud of my age and where I am in life, but honestly, I’m qualified to do what I do.  Therefore, my age, whatever it is, does not matter.