Reality TV and the Distortion of the Term "Celebrity"

“You are a non mothaf****n factor, b**ch!” – Evelyn Lozada, Basketball Wives

“Who gone check me, boo?” – Sheree Whitfield, Real Housewives of Atlanta

Two of the most famous lines in reality tv, quoted by two unlikely “celebrities.”

I put celebrities in quotation marks because although the word is defined as someone who is well known, I question the validity and longevity of this celebrity status.  Is it even warranted? 

Growing up, there were plenty of sitcoms to go around, arguably even one that premiered a new episode on each weeknight.  I remember watching Moesha, My Wife and Kids, among others, as they first premiered.  As horrid as the name Moesha is, it still depicted a teenage girl dealing with things teenagers go through, such as school, the temptation to experiment with sex and alcohol, and parents.  I’m not sure when the reality tv phenomenon hit full speed, but it has surely taken off with no signs of ending. 

Shows such as Basketball Wives and Real Housewives of Atlanta are nothing but pure entertainment to me.  Honestly, there is nothing about these franchises that screams “role model;” instead, there is a bunch of screaming, belittling of other women and otherwise unknown people that have been able to upgrade from Fords to Range Rovers, thanks to us, the viewers.  I can’t lie; I watch these shows.  I’m not glued to the television counting down the seconds to the premiere of a new episode, but I do know what is going on.  I find that it is a basis for judgment on my part as a viewer, from the style of dress to the type of things these ladies say and do.

What is my issue? I’m trying to figure out what a celebrity is, as well as this idea of fame.  For example, the premise of Basketball Wives is to showcase the women behind the NBA players, yet the problem is, these men have left the cast behind.  What does that mean? The women on the show are the former fiancés and girlfriends of NBA players.  Not to knock the hustle, but how many are currently in a relationship or marriage with an NBA player? I’ll wait.

The idea to talk about this topic stemmed from an article I read last week about Evelyn Lozada coming out with a book. 

Pump the brakes.

I’ll admit, my first reaction wasn’t one of excitement.  It was more like, “Did this chick even go to college?” and “What could she possibly have to say in a book?”  I also started thinking about what her true claim to fame is: dating professional athletes.  Is it a surprise that the book series about the same topic? 

There are some positive moments that have played out on these shows, such as the women giving back to charities and interacting with their children.  I only use Basketball Wives and Real Housewives of Atlanta as examples simply because I wonder if people see these shows and think all Black women are like that.  Again, these shows are for pure entertainment, but I think we should proceed with caution when giving out titles, such as celebrity and star.  While we are at it, let’s rethink this famous thing as well.   

It Doesn't Matter if You're Black or White...Right?

Michael Jackson posed this question with his song recorded back in 1991.  In his video, he is seen dancing with people off all cultures, including African American, Caucasian and Native American, just to name a few.  Without knowing Michael Jackson personally, it is evident that he had a genuine love for people, regardless of skin color.  20 years later, I would argue that in fact it does matter if you’re black, white, brown, purple, pink or yellow.  Equally so, it matters where you live. 

Take the state of Arizona for example.  In 2010, the state Senate passed a bill that would make it legal for law enforcement to verify a person’s immigration status if there was “reasonable suspicion.”  Without directly saying so, the bill targeted people that appeared to be Hispanic and Mexican, considering the 460,000 illegal immigrants in the state and the fact that Mexico is only a hop away.  Parts of the law have been blocked and now it is up to the Supreme Court to decide if the state can uphold this legislation.

Additionally, the House of Representatives passed a bill banning ethnic studies in public schools.  The consequence for teaching ethnic studies would be the loss of money for a school district.  I had the opportunity to watch a documentary on Northern Arizona University’s campus entitled Precious Knowledge.   The documentary followed students participating in the Mexican American studies courses at Tucson High School.  The fight to ban courses such as these were lead by state superintendent (currently attorney general for the state) Tom Horne who believed that students were learning how to overthrow the United States government.  His idea is that students should be taught American values and the courses they were in were teaching oppression.  Horne also argues that race does not matter and that schools should be teaching individuality.  The funniest part of his argument in my opinion is his use of Dr. King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, the part where he dreams of a day when his children will be judged not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.  If Dr. King were alive to hear his words used in this context, I would imagine that he would look with a side eye.  Just saying. 

If students were learning about all types of people in regular American history, besides slavery and oppression, maybe there wouldn’t be a need for these courses.  The crazy part is that these courses at Tucson High School, where this whole debate began, was open to all students at the high school.  It makes sense that Chicano students would represent the majority of enrollment in these courses, but it is self-imposed exclusion on the part of the non-Chicano students is they don’t see the benefit. 

I say all of this to say, color, race, and ethnicity do matter.  On the other hand, it matters how much power we give to the thoughts and perceptions people have about our particular cultures.   It is evident that we cannot depend on public education to teach us about all people, so we must do so on our own and in our private lives.  It is hard to combat state legislation such as House Bill 2281 and Senate Bill 1070, once they has been passed, but it surely makes you think twice during elections.  My personal philosophy is that we should accept what makes us individuals and for me, being Black is apart of that individuality.   A person’s race doesn’t make them better or worse; it is simply apart of who they are and yes Michael, it does matter.  

Master's Degree by the age of 25? Why not!

“Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.” – Malcolm X

Education has always been apart of my life.  My mother has made her career in the field, I started Montessori school at the age of 3 and now, I work on a college campus.  When I look around, education (or the lack thereof) has a major impact on people’s lives.  Statistically, college graduates make a million dollars more in their lifetime than a person with a high school diploma.  (This makes me feel much better about my expensive, yet very useful undergraduate education!)

When I was a student at Drake, I loved it so much and learned that I never had to leave the college environment and could actually make a career out of working there.  I attended the BIG XII Conference on Black Student Government in February 2007 and learned about the field of higher education and that I could even earn a master’s degree.  From then on, I knew that I would look to make a career in student affairs/higher education. 

Fast forward to May 2010 and I’ve graduated from Drake, ready for the “real world.” I’m pretty sure I applied for at least 100 jobs and by September, I was hired by Northern Arizona University to work as the Parent and Family Services Coordinator.  Working on a college campus has its benefits, the major one being a discount on tuition.  I contemplated attending graduate school straight out of undergrad, but wanted to avoid paying out of pocket for another degree if I could. 

I took my first graduate course in Spring 2011 and started contemplating the graduate program that I wanted to take on.  Finally, I decided on Human Relations and ambitiously, I will graduate in December 2012.  I made a personal goal to have an advanced degree by the age of 25.  By taking two classes each term, including summer and also taking a course during the winter term, I can make this happen.  I did run into a slight problem this summer already.  I signed up for a statistics course, knowing that this was not my strongest subject, but it is a required course for my program.  I started doing the work and after a short vacation, lost a little bit of motivation and fell behind in the coursework.  I ended up dropping the course and will look to take it in person instead of online.  I recognize my strengths and statistics is not one of them!  To stay on track, I had to pick up an additional class over the summer, so for the past 5 weeks, I have been on an academic grind.  Finally, the courses were over on August 9 and ended up with a 3.5 GPA (go me!) 

I find that education has benefited me in many ways, opened up a lot of doors and I’m ready for the future, true to the words of Malcolm X.

Getting to the Goal: One Step at a Time

“I just wanna be, I just wanna be successful.” – Trey Songz

Sounds good, right? Who doesn’t want to be successful?  How do you get there?

His lyrics talk about getting the money, cars, clothes, and of course, the hoes.  In my life, I want to continue to find success, to keep growing and keep moving forward. 

Earlier this year, I decided to embark on a journey to train for and complete an 8K race.  Once I said I would do it, I was focused.  I went online to find a training schedule, taped it in my planner and counted down the days until the race on Saturday, April 30.  I also found more motivation by telling friends and family about my goal.  In conversations, they would ask how the training was going.  This probing definitely kept me on track because I was determined not to disappoint myself or others who believed that I could actually achieve what I set forth to do.

I finished the Drake Relays on the Roads race in 57 minutes.  Crossing the finish line felt great and it was the culmination of 7 weeks of training.  I recall one night of going to the gym at 9:30 pm.  I had a long day of work, class and attending an event on campus, but I knew the sacrifice would pay off in the long run.

The achievement of this goal is a reminder that if you believe it, you can achieve it.  Yes, it’s a cliché line, but it is true.  So now, more goals, more action plans to achieve those goals and goal realization are on my mind.  In setting goals, it is important to keep these things in mind:

Write your goal down.

Verbalize it!

-Tell people about it and they will help you with accountability.

Put a date on it.

-It might also help to have markers to help you feel like you are taking steps to actually achieving the goal.

Expect moments of discouragement, but don’t accept defeat.

Encourage yourself in the process.

-I had plenty moments where I was repeating Philippians 4:13 in my head while on the treadmill.

Here’s to great goal setting and making those goals a reality!

Black Hair Care in Flag...A Slight Oxymoron (For Me At Least)

It's been 6 months since I moved to Arizona and I am almost comfortable where I am. I say almost because I haven't been able to make this place feel like home, just yet.  One reason being, I can't seem to find a hair stylist in Flagstaff! Thankfully, I found a stylist in Phoenix (shoutout to Shonia at www.shoniasuniquedesigns.com).  Otherwise, I'd be walking around not looking like myself and embarrassing my grandmother.

All of my hair experiences have been interesting, to say the least.  I only write this because of the experiences that I have personally tried.  It's not my place to name stylists or salons because people should be able to form their own opinions and quite possibly, it could just be me and my hair that have the issue.

Flagstaff is a dry place and most people require a little extra moisture and I get that.  The first stylist I went to was cool, expect I thought she out way too much grease in my hair to compensate for the dryness.  In the end, I didn't like how my hands felt after I wrapped my hair, plus I didn't feel like she really "did" my hair.  

Two weeks later, I decided to try another stylist and salon.  I loved the cut, but didn't appreciate the service.  She started to flat iron my hair when I heard sizzling...no good!  No one likes to be told how to do their job, but I knew my hair wasn't dry so I had to speak up.  Soon after, she says that she has an obligation to pick up her nephew.  At this point, she had flat ironed my hair, but knew she could have worked a little harder to make it look that much better.  Moral of that story: another disappointment.

About two weeks ago, one of the student workers in my office heard from other staff member about another stylist in Flagstaff.  I hadn't heard of him, so we decided to check the salon out.  I was blunt and asked, "Can anyone in here do Black hair?'  His response (and I should have run away then) was, "Everybody can do everybody's hair in here." NOT TRUE. Sorry playa.

I made an appointment for the next day, figuring that curls wouldn't be too hard. I was under the impression that the man would be doing my hair, but was mistaken.  Cool, not a big deal, I thought.  The shampoo girl takes me back to the bowl, neglecting to use a towel until I reminded her (another sign that I should have not been there).  Then, she asks me what a relaxer is.  I was told the day before that they did not use perms and I didn't trust them that much to put one on my head anyway.  As I explained what a relaxer is, she sounded intrigued and said "That's cool."  I felt like she should have at least known what it was, but whatever.  

Long story short, the curls were horrendous! She didn't use any kind of setting lotion before putting the rollers in  and even started using a pick on the curls when they were dry.  I felt like that defeated the whole purpose of why I was there.  Needless to say, I was embarrassed to even walk outside and will never return there.  

Like I said, thank God for the referral I got to my stylist in Phoenix.  To me, the drive and cost is worth it.  I know the whole "I am not my hair" concept and I get it, but when your hair is not the way you are used to, you know it and you feel it.  Since being in Flagstaff, I've had to do my own hair much more than I've liked, but I think a proper presentation begins with a decent hairstyle.  

My final opinion is that if a person would move here and could really do some hair, they would be paid....just saying!

3 Weeks To Go: Physical Fitness and Wellness

It's hard to believe that I've been training myself for this 8K race for 4 weeks.  I'm slightly surprised at my own dedication to it.  My will was tested the other day when I was still on campus until 10 PM and hadn't done my workout for the day.  The goal that morning was to get up and run at 6 AM because I knew it would be a long day.  So here I am, on the treadmill at 10:15 PM, trying to keep pushing myself.  The training schedule says I was supposed to run 2.5 miles; I got to about 2 miles, but I was definitely exhausted.
Physically, I still feel great.  I recognize the long-term benefits of staying in shape and taking care of my body.  My biggest struggle has been to match my diet with my workout schedule.  Currently, I'm the smallest I've ever been in my adult life.  Usually, a person would not complain about losing weight.  I'm just saying that I can't afford to invest in new clothes right now.  Either way, I'm very comfortable with my body and the way I look.  Who knows? I might put back on a few pounds once it's all over.
I'm sure I won't have an intense workout schedule once this is over, but I think my body has already gotten used to the idea of physical activity.
Off to the gym as week 4 comes to a close....

-CN

The Challenge Continues: 36 Days Until the Race

In the last 11 days, I've done some type of exercise in the last 10 of those days.  I'd say that some sort of dedication, the type I haven't experienced in a while.  From that, I can say that I'm on track to achieving my goal of finishing an 8K race.

I think it's time to switch up the routine though and start exercising in the morning instead of after work.  I'm sure this will require another level of discipline, but I think it will have its benefits.  I'm also planning to add in some group exercise classes; treadmills and exercise bikes are starting to get old already.  Most importantly, I need to eat more food! In one week, I lost about three pounds and that is not the goal! (Although, it comes with the territory of constant exercise).  Note to self: eat breakfast!

Friday is a day for rest and I'll gladly take it! :)

A New Challenge: Training for an 8K Race

I'm on to a new challenge: to successfully train for and complete an 8K race (5 miles). The race (Drake Relays on the Road) will take place on Saturday, April 30, so that gives me less than 7 weeks to get myself together. I probably would have never used the word runner to describe myself, especially since I only ran track for 2 years when I was in middle school. Now, it just might be time to add that back into my life.

Although working out has not been on my list of favorite activities, I enjoy the refreshing feeling of being done and knowing that exercise will help me stay healthy and fit. So far, I've been on track with my workout plan this week that consists of 30 minute cross training every other day and a 2 mile run on the opposite days. Sunday is the day to rest. Each week, I know my time will improve and my goal is to run a full 5 miles before April 30 (pray for me!)

So far, I'm still excited! When I set a goal, I do what I can to make it happen. Soon enough, I'll be able to say "5 mile run? That's nothing!"